Making a Family Mission Statement

 

Home education and just parenting in general requires A LOT of teaching and instruction. I know that for our family, our learning started out so differently years ago than what it is right now. It was more complex, more workbooks and more structured time. Now that I have prayed and asked the Lord how HE wants our children to be educated, I have surrendered this area all to Him. He has brought amazing people into our lives and pointed us to wonderful books that have helped shape and mold our learning to what it is today. Every year truly is an experiment and not only for what my children are learning, but me as well.

 

At the beginning of the summer, I was reading a book (can't remember to save my life which one now!), but it suggested writing up a mission statement with your spouse. I loved the idea and recently was able to sit down with Rob and finalize it.

 

I keep it posted so that I can remind myself daily that it's not all about getting workbook page 143 completed, but an even bigger picture than that. If a child can't narrate (draw, write, act out or tell) back to me what they learned, then I have wasted my time teaching them. It also keeps in check that math, spelling or science is inferior to Rob and I teaching them about the Lord. 

 

A mission statement is different than family goals. I'll post our goals at a later time, but for today I'll just share our mission statement in particular.

 

 

Bates Family Homeschool Mission Statement

 

" The Bates family goal is to stimulate our children's appetites for learning, that they may have an excitement and a passion for learning. We realize that each child is different and has acquired from God their individual, God-given talents and gifts that the Lord will use to disciple and bring others to Christ as they grow older. Our desire is that they would be self-taught and help to teach one another as they try to master certain topics. Our main goal is to produce disciples of Jesus Christ, that they may come to know Him and love Him with all of their heart, soul, mind and strength, submitting to His will for their lives and maintaining a healthy fear of God (the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge). Our daily goal is to model this for them. As they gain knowledge, it is our prayer that they use this knowledge to acquire true wisdom, passing these goals on to another generation of children (should that be the Lord's will for their lives), living out Titus 2."

 

What is your family mission statement?

Monumental

 

I went out to have some tea and chat with a good friend the other night. We talked about family, our faith and what God is doing in each of our lives, our kiddos, discipline and home education (to which her family will be starting this next year). We talked about our country and where its headed which lead to the topic of this amazing movie.

 

(I AM going to plug bits and pieces in still about Almost Amish, but the Lord has really laid this on my heart to share and I want to share while it's still fresh in my "remembery".)

 

I was aware when the movie came out awhile ago, but wasn't able to get to the theatres to see it. My friend told me it was a must see. So, the next day I trotted off in search of this inspirational film.
 

 

As I sat down to watch, the beginning intro caught my attention specifically because it's all the thoughts that have been running through my brain for the past few years with our current leadership. My heart goes out to people out there who can't afford healthcare, groceries or to pay their mortgages. Our family has also been through some of those trials, but we didn't give up. We didn't evolve a "America owes me" attitude. We prayed. We sought guidance from God's Word and the teachings of what Jesus did. We made some tough decisions on faith alone, not always comfortable decisions.  God gave us a second chance at doing things the right way, using His money the way we know He intends us to use it for his will for our family and we're so undeserving and grateful.

 

I say this because there are people in this world that have an "America owes me" mentality and we have to stop it. We have to stop it now. America doesn't owe us anything. God doesn't owe us anything. We forget the sacrifices made by our forefathers. No one owed them anything. After spending 66 days on a cold, wet, wine boat that wasn't even supposed to cross the Atlantic and after over half of the Pilgrims died in that first cold winter (they buried their dead in one grave so that the Native Americans wouldn't know their numbers of dead), they continued on in suffering, but survived to tell this amazing God-glorifying story. 

 

Instead of throwing in the towel at our country's lack of morality, our failing education system, our food system, unwed teenage pregnancy, abortions, drugs in our schools and the trillions of dollars in debt that our country is in (and only growing), etc. we need to get tough with it, just as the Pilgrims did. They had so many strikes against them, but the Lord was so EVIDENT in His provision for them to start this great nation called The United States of America. They founded this country with every intention for it to be a Christian nation, based on the principles of Faith, Morality, Evangalism, Law (God's, not man's ever-changing law mind you), Justice, Mercy, Wisdom, Education, Liberty and Peace. These are the pieces that make up "The Matrix of Liberty" in Plymouth. These are the principles from the Bible that were so evident in making this great nation and we're just going to throw it all away after 400 years and move on to strategies (like other government, top-down approaches of slavery of its people) that we've seen take place and not work.

 

I love the part of the movie where Krik Cameron picks apart David Barton's brain regarding the diests and athiests that so many colleges and universities are portraying our founding fathers to be. Great heroes like George Washington, John Adams, James Madison, etc. The sources for this hogwash that were written are unfootnoted and unproven. For every one of the one documents they try to pull apart and prove deism, there are 200-300 that prove it to be wrong. And that's what's being taught in our schools!!! (Red flag here.)

(the Liberty Matrix statue)

 

 

I have a newfound respect for William Brewster, William Bradford, John Robinson and others. In fact, I have a few books I'm getting ready to read on these very fine, godly leaders. They were fearless because God was going to use them. For 150 years, these forefathers created a system of government that was FREE. Free by definition of an absolute standard from God's law. Freedom and liberty that started from each individual's HEART and not because the church of England was forcing them. When a person takes ownership over something and his/her heart is in the right place and has the absolute standard of God Almighty, they can't fail because what they are in turn living out is God's WILL. But when we break away from that, it produces failure because there is not absolute standard to live by for each individual and there will be contradiction in morality. I could go on, but I won't.

 

I simply want to share today what an amazing film this was and if you get the chance to see it, please pass it on to others so that this message may be spread across our nation. This nation can be saved! When all strikes are against us (just like the Pilgrims), we too can rise up with the help of the very God that gave us this country.  

 

"The solution is not blaming others. For 400 years, we've had it (the solution). Every time we've strayed from it, we've suffered the consequences. The seed that grew this nation was faith in God. That faith produces character, a character that produces great courage, courage to self govorn. Courage to guide and educate our children...and the courage to elect today's liberty men and women who will take the torch from our forefathers. The answer doesn't begin at the White House, it begins at YOUR house." ~Cameron

 

 Maybe in a generation or two, things WILL be different and there might be change. We can pray.

I'll close with this...

 

There were two ships that the Pilgrims were going to take over to the New World. The Speedwell and the Mayflower. After all of the Pilgrims loaded the two ships, the Speedwell sprung a leak and that ship had to return to England to unload the passengers and dock, meaning 1/2 of the Pilgrims had to stay back. John Robinson was one of those that chose to stay back. He had been the Pilgrim's pastor for 12 years and had lead and guided them along the way. He chose to stay back because he was a different kind of Christian. He stood on the promises of God to be victorious. He suffered in the moment so that his children and grandchildren might have a better future. A future that he would probably never get so see lived out, but he had faith that God was in charge. THAT is the kind of Christianity we need today in our country. It's going to take sacrifice that you may not be comfortable with. Sacrifice now for the glory of God. It is by no means a selfish endeavor. Teach your children well. Teach them these principles with every beating of your heart so that God's glory may shine on until He returns.

 

Make Your Own Child Training Bible

Saw this floating around today and thought I'd bless all of my fabulous readers with this great find. All you need is any 9 by 6 Bible, 7 colors of Post It flags and coordinating colored highlighters (they suggest Sharpie's Accent Highlighters) to highlight with.

For $9.00, you get:
1 Child Training Bible Key (laminated cardstock to fit in the front of your Bible)
3 Easy Tabbers (these help you determine where the scriptures are in your Bible)
1 Set of Instructions to make the Bible

I'm looking forward to putting our own together and if any of you decide to attempt this fabulous find, please let me know and give me a link to your blog so we can all share together! :)

Think You Know Your Disney Princesses?

So thankful for this post today. I thought I was the only one who wasn't a fan of Rapunzel. We have seen the movie and Avonlea got the princess dress for her birthday last year, but after watching the movie more than once, I was convinced it was somehow different. I know that villains exist to make a good story/movie, but both my girls clung to my arms while in the theatre during the suspenseful parts. What I didn't like about it was the sheer fact that although Rapunzel's mother was wrong, Rapunzel's disrespect and back-talking were also unacceptable, unBiblical and not to mention all of the little girls who would later try to pull off the same talk to their own mothers at home! (I'll admit that my daughter was one of them. It was quickly corrected.) Large Family Mothering hit the nail on the head. She took the words right out of my mouth. Disney princesses are definitely different now. It's funny how we think of the word "Disney" and we automatically think "safe". Not always the case! Thanks LFM for making us think today about the influences on our little girls.

Large Family Logistics Annotations

So, I ordered Large Family Logistics over the summer and had it read in a little over a week. I couldn't put it down. Kim Brenneman is a mother to a large family (9 children, I'm pretty sure) and she wrote this book for her daughters so that someday, they may take her advice, learn from her life as a mother and glean what they can as they too become mothers someday. I love they way Kim shares the ups and downs of being a mother, how she remains Biblically centered, quotes Scripture and how she breaks down the book into several specific chapters on raising a family, keeping a home, homeschooling and basic managing skills. So many girls today are not being taught the simplistics of keeping up a home and running a family. It's sad, really. We're too busy! We're too busy to teach some of the most important things our little girls will need to be truly successful in life. Thanks Kim for writing this and I hope to collect one of these books for each of my own daughters and give it to them as they ready themselves to raise a family, God-willing. *Please note that this book is not for mothers who have 9 or more children. Although I have four, I found this book totally applicable and would find it applicable to any mother no matter how many children you have.

I've written down annotations for the book and this post, I'll share chapters 1-12 (scroll down if you don't want to read the chapter titles). The chapters that are covered in Kim's book are as follows:

Chapter 1 - The Wise Woman

2 - goals

3 - Systems

4 - Self-Discipline

5 - Attitude is Critical

6 - Where Does the Time Go?

7 - The Interrupted Day

8 - The Psalms-Your Spiritual Multi-Vitamin

9 - Give Your Children a Work Ethic

10 - Repeating Yourself?

11 - Teaching a New Chore

12 - Rejecting Me-Centeredness, Redeeming Time Alone

13 - Life with Littles

14 - Baby Balance

15 - The Family Dynamic

16 - Your Own Personal Spa

17 - Dress for Success

PART TWO

18 - Your Home Management Book

19 - Laundry Day

20 - Kitchen Day

21 - Office Day

22 - Town Day

23 - Cleanign DAy

24 - Deep Cleaning

25 - Gardening Day

26 - The Lord's Day

27 - Tea Party Day

28 - Morning and Evening Routines

29 - Meal Time Routines

30 - Table Time

31 - 15 Minutes of Phonics

32 - Quiet Time

33 - Read Aloud Time

34 - Afternoon Chore Time

35 - Bathroom Management

36 - Bedroom Management

37 - The Children's Hour

38 - Family Worship

39 - Home Crafts

40 - Homeschooling the Large Family

41 - Health and Wellness

42 - Teh Playroom

43 - Feast Night

44 - Meal Planning

45 - Project Day

46 - Pregnancy and Preparing for Baby

47 - The Buddy System

Appendix A - Coping While Exhausted and Overwhelmed

Appendix B - Moving Beyond Survival Mode

Chapter 1: The Wise Woman
Breaking down the Proverbs 31 woman.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

Chapter 2: Goals
Set clearly defined goals for yourself and your family (with your husband, of coarse).
Some goals may be...learning how better to train your children, growing spiritually in the Word, goals in marriage, exercise, hospitality, etc.
Write them down. Have steps planned out for each goal. Make them monthly, focusing on one per month if you like.

Chapter 3: Systems
Kim shares on how to work through a new method while teaching a new thing:
1. Show them how to do it, demonstrate the protocol.
2. Watch them do it, giving correction.
3. Let them do it unsupervised with you checking later, and give further instruction if needed.
4. Require independent work with occasional checks; if they begin to be sloppy (they are human), then start over.
“Systems don’t work if you don’t work the system.” (Kim’s husband)

Chapter 4: Self-Discipline
“You can have wisdom on how to rightly live and have the most refined set of goals and well-tuned system in the world on how to get there, but if you don’t pursue your goals and implement your plan, your ideas are next to worthless.” Kim

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

Be like Jesus!

Chapter 5: Attitude is Critical
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23
Jeremiah 17:9, Psalm 119:10, Matthew 15:8, Numbers 14:18 (anger), James 1:20 (anger)
Obedience is a CHOICE!
“I once heard a speaker at a mother-daughter retreat tell us mothers to get in line with Jesus and that our daughters would follow our lead. If our children see us being Sunday Christians, then theywon’t take Christianity seriously, and church will just be a Sunday social club.” Kim

Chapter 6: Where Does the Time Go?
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under the heaven.”Ecclesiastes 3:1

Kim shares how to break down your day and tips for managing time wisely.

Chapter 7: The Interrupted Day
There will be days when things don’t go as planned. There are interruptions, but you have to make the choice whether to recover and get back in the saddle, or sulk. Attitude is everything!
(Note: I had one of those days yesterday when we had a totally fun-packed day, but we came home and the house was a MESS and I had to get dinner ready and the house cleaned in 1 HOUR. I pulled the troops together, we tidied up the house and I made a quick dinner. We also had enough time to light candles, put on some dinner music and set the table with pretty dishes. Rob never knew our day was so chaotic! I was so close to just having a “pizza night” and cleaning after the kids went to bed, but we pulled it together and we recovered. So happy we did.)

Proverbs 16:1-9…An interrupted day is God’s plan for the life of a mother!!!

Chapter 8: The Psalms – Your Spiritual Multi-Vitamin
Go to sleep with a Psalm. Wake up to a Psalm. Even if you can’t have an in-depth study to start or end the day, at least get some of the Word and some prayer time in.

The “I’m Stresses Psalm”…(131) O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore.”

Chapter 9: Give Your Children a Work Ethic
“The principal cause of boredom is the hatred of work. People are trained from childhood to hate it. Parents often feel guilty about making children do anything but the merest gestures toward work. Perhaps the children are required to make their beds and, in feeble and half-hearted fashion, tidy up their rooms once a month or so. But take full responsibility to clear the table, load the dishwasher, scrub the pots, wipe the counters? How many have the courage to ask this of a ten-year-old? It would be to omuch to ask of many ten-year-olds because parents have seriously asked nothing of them when they were two or three. Children quickly pick up the parents’ negative attitudes toward work and think of it as something most sedulously to be avoided.” – Elizabeth Elliot

Kim laughs as she has read chores suggested for multiple ages from other sources. She says, “Scraping hog floors didn’t make the list?”  She touches on how farm kids work hard and have a lot of dirty work. Hard physical work builds character. Practicing character traits happens with work and provides opportunities to see the rewards. She also touches on how boys need physical work (chopping firewood, mending fences, pruning trees/bushes, digging holes, etc.), start YOUNG so it’s habit-forming and expected, don’t expect children to do the quality of work that an adult would but to encourage them to do excellent work. Study God’s Word and what it says about work. Set a goal such as going for a treat when the work is done well. Older children will help teach the younger ones attitude, character traits, and the chore. Be sure to teach the older children WELL. Teach children to be helpful when you visit others’ homes or social events. Teach them to ask the host/hostess “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Some verses on work:
Proverbs 6:6
Proverbs 10:26
Proverbs 13:4
Proverbs 14:23
Proverbs 18:9
Proverbs 20:4
Proverbs 20:13
Proverbs 21:17
Proverbs 22:29
Proverbs 24:30-34
Proverbs 26:13-16
Proverbs 27:1
I Corinthians 4:2
Philippians 4:13
Colossians 3:22-23
II Thessalonians 3:10
I Timothy 5:8

Motto: “We work before we play.”

Chapter 10: Repeating Yourself?
We fall into this habit a lot, repeating ourselves louder with each direction when children should obey the first time we ask. We are busy moms and we’re great at multi-tasking, but child discipline isn’t something that can be multi-tasked. We need to stop and focus. We need to train ourselves to hear ourselves. It’s hard, but repeating ourselves is training our children to continue in disobedience.

Train children to respond with “Yes, ma’am” when they’ve heard you give an instruction. That signals to you that they heard you. Make eye contact with them if you have to give the instruction again so that they have clearly heard you.

When men focus their attention in loving or disciplining a child, it is beautiful. We need to take a lesson from the men here!

Role play attentiveness!

Perhaps you are instructing a child and there is bickering going on the next room. Assuming there’s not a major crisis, focus and finish with the first child. Then go to the bickering children and give instruction and discipline there.

If you have a friend whose child-rearing standards are different, and who brings you down, get some space from her. Misery loves company, and you need to choose encouragers to be with, not the miserable. Don’t be the one who drags others down; be an encourager! (Prov. 13:20b) Spend limited time with that person because bad influences will undo your children’s training.

Chapter 11: Teaching a New Chore
“Inspect what you expect”

1. Tell them
2. Show them
3. Do it with them
4. Supervised practice
5. Independent practice

Do not expect a child to do a chore well when you have only done the first two steps with them. It can take a long time to get from Step One to Step Five, depending on the child and the specific chore.

Make it a fun event…the teaching of a new chore. Celebrate with a treat!

You should never treat your children like slaves or your personal minions. The goal is to raise a godly seed.
Don’t complain…Philippians 2:14
Do your work unto the Lord…Colossians 3:23
A cheerful heart is good medicine…Prov. 15:13
Do more than the minimum required…Colossians 1:10

Remember that attitude is everything and little eyes are always watching you and how your attitude is towards work.

Chapter 12: Rejecting Me-Centeredness, Redeeming Time Alone
Motherhood is a life of sacrifice; it is a life poured out for our children. So what are we to do to get some space from it all? When we are honest with ourselves, we know that it is not “Me Time” we need or a “Girl’s Night Out”. Children are not a burden to escape or endure; they are a blessing that drives us to Christ because we are incapable of parenting well without Him. God is who we need. While there are helpful strategies we can employ in order to have a more peaceful day with our children, the number one thing we must do is to deny Self and cling to the cross.

Early morning silence can be a balm to the soul. Sit by the fire with a coffee/tea and Bible in hand. God doesn’t always give us a beautiful start to every day though. If kiddos are up early, read the Bible to them. Deuteronomy 6 (the Sh’ma) is always great for the whole family to appreciate God’s gift of beauty and quiet in the morning.

Naptime is also another good time to have quiet time to yourself to read the Bible, do a quiet craft or take a nap yourself. Keep your focus right by honoring God with your Quiet Time. Yet don’t let Quiet Time itself become an idol.

Evening…your bedside table is a good place to keep those most important things to rejuvenate your life. Your Bible and a prayer journal should always be there awaiting you.

Relationships – Make Jesus your best friend! A stay-at-home mom can easily miss the interaction of friends and it can be a lonely job at times. It can also be the best job in the world.

Friendships – There are good ones and bad ones. The Bible is chocked full of examples.

I love how Kim breaks down relationships/friendships…God first, then husband, then nurturing our children. Don’t let friends take over these relationships. There’s a reason God has set family relationships as priority. If friendships with other mothers are taking over our relationships to our God and immediate family, then we need to prioritize. However, if you’re never leaving home to fellowship with other like-minded ladies as well as older sisters in Christ, then you won’t have a chance to grow such as Titus 2 says. If you find that your friends are not making godly decisions, you may want to rethink that friendship. (Romans 14:19; I Corinthians 14:26)

*I'll be sharing remaining chapter annotations in the future so stay tuned! ;)

The Story of Selfish Sally {and Discipline}

There once was a woman named Sally. She was a wife to a great husband and three adorable children. Although Sally loved her family, there was something missing that she couldn't put her finger on. She claimed to discipline her children, but not Biblically. She had trained them to "be nice to each other" because it was the right thing to do. She didn't look to the Word for answers on HOW to train her children. They would fight constantly, but a time out and "be nice to each other" when it was over was the extent of it. She would spank her children, but not Biblically. She would discipline out of anger. She was definitely DONE having children and couldn't bare the thought if she had one more. It would put her over the edge. Children weren't a blessing to her. They were a burden. She couldn't wait to shuffle them off to school in the mornings so that she didn't have to deal with the fighting on and off throughout the day.

She would schedule "Me Time" for herself and look for ways to satisfy her needs instead of her family's. Although she loved going to get manicures and pedicures at the local mall (not sayin' there's anything wrong with occational manicures or pedicures), she thought she had the right to spend it on herself, even though she knew she should be saving the money they didn't have for that kind of thing for bills and groceries.

Selfish Sally had time during the day to do whatever she pleased and it usually revolved around her. She didn't take the time to look for good Biblical parenting books and try to discipline in a better way. She didn't read the Bible to search for answers on how the Lord wanted her to discipline. She wanted to run errands that she wanted to run. She had people she wanted to meet up with for coffee. She had friends to go shopping with.

Sally was almost worse during the summertime. She would sign her three kiddos up for every Vacation Bible School in the city. She couldn't wait until her children would be away for two weeks at a Christian summer camp miles away. And when August rolled around and it was time for school to start up again, Sally never hesitated when running into a fellow mom at the local grocery store to give a little "praise God school started up" (as her children were present).

The problem with Selfish Sally is that her "problems" are being dealt with temporarily. She may have some peace and quiet to herself during the day, but if she never learns to train her children in the way they should go, the lack of discipline will soon catch up. Her daughter's rolling of the eyes, "Whatever Mommy" s, fighting, selfishness, lack of self control and discipline will catch up with her. The little children will become big children. The little problems will become big problems. Her children will not have the boundaries that they need to become successful. Or worse, they could become good fakers who know their mother and father so well that they can mettle their way out of anything. They know to say "sorry" after an offense (with an almost meaningful look about their face) just so they can get what they want.

I know that when I became a parent, I really had to search out the Biblical way of parenting. If I'm being honest, I may have had a bunch of these same "Selfish Sally" qualities myself. However, I knew I only got ONE shot at bringing up my kids in the way they should go. In the beginning, there were so many times when I would discipline for the wrong reasons, out of anger or frustration, inconsistently, etc. But just like practicing for a marathon, studying for a test or learning a new skill, such is this of parenting. It's the MOST important job we'll ever have!!!

I know.

I remember longing to go back to work shortly after having my first child. I craved the approval of others. I was being offered the head of the English Department. I had students that loved me. I had parents that I got along with great. I loved my job! BUT as my little baby (who is now a whopping SIX years old) was growing, the Holy Spirit completely took over and convinced us of the lifestyle He wanted for us.

Ask the Holy Spirit Himself to be evident in your life. Ask Him to lead you in ways that God would want for your family, raising your children the very BEST way you can. It may not be the most comfortable way. It may not be the most convenient way. It may be a way that you're scared to death to change or tackle, but remember that God promises to give us strength for the tasks He has in store for us.

Philippians 4:13...

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Dig deep in God's Word for discipline. I know that I have been so blessed to come across the following books of wisdom from some God-fearing writers...

This blog isn't in existence to make people have a warm and fuzzy feeling. I truly enjoy sharing how our family is growing, learning and being pruned in various areas, but not everyone is going to like every post that is written.

As we look in Luke chapter 12 verses 49-53, Christ gives shares...

"Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division."

What qualities of Selfish Sally do you have? What ones can you change. What can you do better in your discipline to glorify the Lord more with your family?

Character Breakfasts
I've been working hard this summer to put together a great character program. As I've shopped around, I couldn't find anything that I really liked and was BIBLICALLY based, which was of utmost importance. I wouldn't teach character without basing it on God's Word. Any child can learn how to share a toy because it's the "nice" thing to do, but I want it to be so much deeper than that. We share toys because God tells us "Blessed are the peacemakers" in His Word. Anyway, I've enjoyed making this curriculum and matching reading books, coloring pages, fun activities, Bible verses, etc. to our character traits. We have our Bible time in the morning at breakfast, hence why my kids are in PJs. :) Enjoy!

Grocery Shopping Rules

Shopping with little ones can be an interesting experience, therefore we have certain rules that we MUST abide by when we're out on a shopping trip. Here are our rules that I keep in our shopping binder. We're still working on them, but the more consistent I am, the more progress I see (even if it is little by little).

1. Respect people and respect property.

2. Don't touch unless you're going to buy. Consequence = hands in pockets for a few aisles.

3. We are ambassadors wherever we go. We represent a large, Christian, homeschool family.

4. Begging = consequences when we get home. We do go over things IN ADVANCE that might be a problem during our shopping trip. For instance, if I know that my son is going to desire dried apricots, we'll add it to the list BEFORE we leave the house. If it's not on the list, we don't get it. My children generally ask ( ahem...beg) for healthy things so it's hard not to encourage it, but we still try and add it to the list before we go. We do shop at a health food store, so that dwindles down a large majority of our begging issues. What they do ask for isn't necessarily unhealthy.

5. Misbehavior drains my energy. If you wear me out while we're out and about, you'll need to help me with my work when we return home.

6. The more helpful you are during the shopping trip, the sooner we can get on with our day and do "the fun things", library trip, park, get home to make popsicles, etc.

7. Everyone helps bring in the groceries when we get home. Even little Norah can bring in the light things (puffed wheat, a bunch of bananas, etc.).

"Real" men aren't afraid to tackle the dishes!

{smile}

Prayer For Our Children
I was once given a handout from a friend as we were discussing prayer for our children and this handout has been a huge blessing to me in my prayer life for my kids. There are so many things that we as parents want for our children, but do we remember to PRAY for them on a daily basis. Are they GODLY things that we're praying for? The things on this list are wonderful, but there are a few more things that I always pray for my children (listed at the bottom). I hope that this touches you. I hope that some of you can use this tool in your own prayer life and I pray that this post would be God-honoring.

1. salvation "Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory" (Is. 45:8, 2 Tim. 2:10)

2. growth in grace "I pray that my children may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" (2 Pet. 3:18)

3. love "Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to live a life of love, through the Spirit who dwells in them" (Gal. 5:25, Eph. 5:2)

4. honesty and integrity "May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection" (Ps. 25:21)

5. self-control "Father, help my children not to be like many others
around them, but let them be alert and self-controlled
in all they do" (1 Thess. 5:6)

6. love for God's Word "May my children grow to find Your Word more precious than
much pure gold and sweeter tan honey from the comb"
(Ps. 19.10)

7. justice "God, help my children to love justice as You do and act
justly in all they do" (Ps. 1:7, Mic. 6:8)

8. mercy "May my children always be berciful, just as their Father
in Heaven is merciful" (Lk. 6:36)

9. respect (for self, others, authority)
"Father, grant that my children may show proper respect
to everyone, as Your Word commands" (1Pet. 2:17)

10. BIBLICAL self-esteem. "Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is
rooted in the realization that they are God's workmanship,
created in Christ Jesus" (Eph. 2:10)

* A great book I recommend...Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World

by Jill Rigby. Remember that SELF esteem is to esteem one's self. The Bible teaches the opposite. I don't much like using the actual word "self esteem", but that's what was on the list that I used.

11. faithfulness "Let love and faithfulness never leave my children, but
bind these twin virtues around their necks and write
them on the tablet of their hearts" (Prov. 3:3)

12. courage "May my children always be strong and courageous in
their character and in their actions" (Deut. 31:6)

13. purity "Create in them a pure heat, O God, and let that purity
of heart be shown in their actions" (Ps. 51:10)

14. kindness "Lord, may my children always try to be kind to each
other and to everyone else" (1 Thess. 5:15)

15. generosity "Grant that my children may be generous and willing
to share, and so lay up treasure for themselves as a
firm foundation for the coming age" (1 Tim. 6:18-19)

16. peace-loving"Father, let my children make every effort to do what
lead to peace" (Rom. 14:19)

17. joy "May my children be filled with the joy given by the
Holy Spirit" (I Thess. 1:6)

18. perseverance "Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do,
and help them especially to run with perseverance
the race marked out for them" (Heb. 12:1)

19. humility "God, please cultivate in my children the ability to
show true humility toward all' (Titus 3:2)

20. compassion "Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of
compassion" (Col. 3:12)

21. responsibility "Grant that my children may learn responsibility, for
each one should carry his own load" (Gal. 6:5)

22. contentment "Father, teach my children the secret of being content
in any and every situation, through Him who gives them strength" (Phil. 4:12-13)

23. faith "I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children's
hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been
promised to them (Luke 17:5-6, Heb. 11:1-40)

24. a servant's heart "God, please help my children develop servants' hearts,
that they may serve wholeheartedly, as if they were
serving the Lord, not men" (Eph. 6:7)

25. hope "May the God of hope grant that my children may
overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power
of the Holy Spirit" (Rom. 15:13)

26. the willingness and ability to work hard "Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work hard at everything they do, 'as working for the Lord, not for men'." (Colossians 3:23)

27. a passion for God "Lord, please instill in my children a soul that 'followeth hard after thee,' a heart that clings passionately to you (Psalm 63:8)

28. self-discipline "Father, I pray that my children may develop self-discipline, that they may acquire 'a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair' " (Proverbs 1:3)

29. prayerfulness "Grant, Lord, that my children's lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to 'pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests" (Ephesians 6:18)

30. gratitude "Help my children to live lives that are always 'overflowing with thankfulness,' 'always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ' " (Colossians 2:7, Ephesians 5:20)

31. a heart for missions "Lord, please help my children to develop a heart for missions, a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, your marvelous deeds among all peoples" (Psalm 96:3)


Some other things I pray for my children...



32. That they would Love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. (Deuteronomy 6:4)


33. That they would teach their children about Jesus and his Word all throughout the day as they are "at home, walking along the road, lying down and getting up". (Deuteronomy 6:7) OR doing laundry, playing outside, finishing up math work, jumping rope with Mommy, doing chores throughout the day, learning to play an instrument, etc.


34. That they would train their children as in Proverbs 22:6. Notice that the verse reads,

"(You) Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Getting a little into the grammar of this verse,

(after all, I used to teach English and aw, why not? tee hee)

notice that the subject of the sentence is the understood YOU. Who do you think the understood YOU is aiming at? Your next door neighbor? No. Your great auntie? No. The best friend? No. This verse is meant that the child be brought up and trained by the parents God gave the specific child(ren) to.

Parents, WE are to do the training. I might be stepping on some toes here, but I think this is why it's so important, in fact, Godly, to keep our children with us as much as possible. Shipping children off for 6+ hours a day and then adding on activities until dinnertime isn't what God intended. When does the training happen?

I love Connie's story over at SmockityFrocks.com because her story is almost to the "T" of where I came from. It's amazing how we can be SO concerned about fitting into the "American Mould" that we loose sight of what God's Word says. (Proverbs 1:1-7) Does God really care about how many soccer trophies our kids have? Does He really care about if our child received a 4.1 GPA or a 3.2 GPA? Just food for thought. :) I think this is why I love the person who rewrote the Hilary Clinton quote about it "taking a village to raise a child". Quite honestly, I don't trust a whole village to raise my children that God gave to Rob and I. Do I have good friends/family who occasionally help out in times of need? Yes. They are friends or family that I trust, but are they RAISING my children? NO! There's a big difference.


Another thing to remember about Proverbs (referring to the verse Prov. 22:6) is that is it NOT a book of promises, but a book of suggestions and things to follow. There's no guarantee that our children will turn out perfect, even if we think we're parenting perfect. Just no such thing. They will make mistakes. They will have temptations and sin in their lives just as we do. It is our job to train them and guide them the best we can, seeking God's will, reading his Word and then turning them over to him.

Here's Connie's article in a 3-part series...

Part I ,
Part II,
Part III.


35. This leads me to my #35 where I pray that our children not conform to this world and feel the pressures of fitting into a certain mould that society says is "proper" or "normal". Define proper or normal. :)


Romans 12: 2 says..."Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

(John 15:19; John 17:14; I John 2:15; James 4:4)


36. I pray that if the Lord has my children marry, that they have a spouse that loves the Lord above all else and loves my child such as I Corinthians 13. I just love this chapter! So pure.

There's so much we want for our children in this world, but even more important what we should want for them in the next world...salvation and a relationship with Jesus Christ, God himself and the Holy Spirit.

"Do not be deceived; God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opprotunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."

Galations 6:7-10

Keep on prayin' parents!!! Blessings to you all.

Dad's and Mom's Corners by The Maxwell Parents

I just have to share a blessing with you all. If you haven't heard of the Maxwell family at Titus2.com, you must check them out. They have been such a blessing to our family and they don't even know it! I have read some of their books that they have published and am bummed that I missed their conference when they were here in FL months ago. I went to their website and signed up to receive their e-mails "Dad's and Mom's Corners". Each month, I get their e-mails and there's a section for moms and a section for dads. Well, after receiving my "Mom's Corner" today, I just had to share, so I copied and pasted the whole thing here on my blog. I hope you read and feel as blessed as I was in listening toTeri today.

Bringing Up Children Who Will Love the Lord
Part 1
Recently on MOTHBoard, the message board that supports the Managers of Their Homes book, we had a wonderful question. I felt it had such valuable universal application that I told the writer I would personally respond to her question in detail in a near-future Mom's Corner. Here is what she wrote:

"My greatest desire for my child is that he will love the Lord with all of his heart. He is generally well behaved and obedient, but I have recently realized that I need to do a better job of stirring up godly appetites in his heart. I want to teach him to be a lover of God more than a lover of pleasure.

"There are two areas where I see my own need to improve: One is that I don't think I have scheduled in enough work and responsibility for him. The other is that I am not a diligent person. I am too quick to settle for less effort, both on my part, and on his. I haven't been purposely doing this, but now that I realize it, I am so sorry for it! I want to change, and I am claiming God's promise that I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.

"I am going to re-read my Managers of Their Homes book, and re-write our schedule. Once I have done this, I plan to start joining the weekly accountability threads.

"Meanwhile, I would love any advice you have. I know that teaching our children to love God above all is a heart issue. However, I believe that our hearts are affected by the way we spend our time. I believe that our schedule has a VERY strong impact on our hearts. What do you put on your schedules that has actually brought fruit in your children's lives, taught them to love the Lord, and to have a servant's heart?

"We have silent Bible reading, as well as a time for reading the Bible together, and for memory work. He uses a Bible study book as part of his homeschool work. We also have a reading time right before bed. For the most part, we use books with a godly focus, such as the Moodys series, Rod and Staff stories, etc. What more can I do to give him godly teachings and to help him apply these teachings to his life?" WhiterThanSnow

"And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up" (Deuteronomy 6:5-7). Certainly, most of us are familiar with these verses and would desire this outcome for our children just like WhiterThanSnow does for her son. The verses themselves give us some of the answers to the question of how one teaches their children to love the Lord Jesus. We will delve into that aspect as we continue. For now, I just wanted us to have read the verses that are the basis for the goal.

The other part of WhiterThanSnow's desire for her son comes from 2 Timothy 3:4. Paul is describing the negative attributes of men in the last days with a scary, awful list of the actions and attitudes that will be prevalent at that time. One aspect is that men will be "lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God."

WhiterThanSnow nailed it pretty well when she said she wasn't a diligent person, and perhaps that has been the reason for her son not being diligent either. There is an awesome reality that our children mirror what they see in our lives. Of course, that can work positively or negatively, but it seems children are usually more quick to catch the negative than the positive.

The appetites and passions that WhiterThanSnow has in her life will most likely become the ones that are in her son's life. If WhiterThanSnow spends personal time in the Word and in prayer each morning before her son gets up and then at breakfast shares her excitement about what she has learned, he will desire to do the same thing. "O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is" (Psalms 63:1). "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby" (1 Peter 2:2). However, if there is no passion in WhiterThanSnow's heart for her Lord as evidenced by the way she spends her time and what she talks about, she really can't expect to find that passion in her son's heart. Sadly that is often the case. We want an outcome for our children that isn't the reality in our own lives.

When WhiterThanSnow digs into her morning chores with a smile on her face and a song on her lips, she will likely find her son beginning to do the same thing. "She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens" (Proverbs 31:15). "The slothful man roasteth not that which he took in hunting: but the substance of a diligent man is precious" (Proverbs 12:27). "Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice" (Philippians 4:4). Through this example, WhiterThanSnow can model for her son not only diligence in the task at hand but a love for the Lord Jesus Christ in the midst of the everyday jobs that fill many of our hours.

On the other hand, if WhiterThanSnow grumbles and complains about her workload and heads for the computer to read e-mails and blogs rather than tackling her housework, she reinforces the sin nature in her son that gravitates toward selfishness and laziness. "Do all things without murmurings and disputings" (Philippians 2:14). "I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down. Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction. Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man" (Proverbs 24:30-34).

Our lives are the starting place toward the goal of raising a child who is more a lover of the Lord Jesus Christ than he is a lover of pleasure. May we critically evaluate the example we are placing before our children, repent if our hearts have strayed from their first love or are lazy, and then ask the Lord to help us back on the path on which we need to be. As WhiterThanSnow said, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13). While it may seem too hard to change or seem overwhelming in the current circumstances, the Lord gives us yet another encouragement: ". . . My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Next month we will continue to evaluate key ingredients in our children's lives that will draw them to that love of their Savior.

Teri Maxwell