Almost Amish - Chapter 3 Finances
Saving More and Spending Less Bring Financial Peace

 

Here are some questions from the chapter that I'll start out with as they were very helpful to me and hope they can do the same for you...

 

"STUFF

 

1. Do you wish your home were less cluttered?

2. Do you have to many clothes in your closet?

3. Do you have recreational or sports equipment sitting in your basement or garage that is rarely used?

4. Do you own more high-tech gadgets than you need?

5. Are you renting a storage unit?

 

DEBT AND SPENDING

 

1. If you use credit cards, have you ever paid less than the full balance?

2. Have you ever bought something on credit that will be worth less in a year?

3. Do you give away at least 10% of your earnings (tithe)?

4. Are you depending exclusively on Social Security to provide for your old age?

 

SPENDING

 

1. Does anyone in your household shop recreationally-for example, go to the mall with no specific purchase in mind?

2. Do you ever buy gifts out of guilt or obligation?

3. Do you make major purchases without waiting a month to determine if you really need them?

4. Do you ever feel that you spent more than you should have at Christmas?

5. Have you ever hidden a purchase from your spouse or bought something to get back at him or her?

 

If you answered "yes" to more than a few of these questions, you are not alone; so does our nation as  whole."

 

There is definitely much to learn from our Amish friends on this topic. They are just as responsible income, sales taxes and property taxes as the rest of the country. The only difference is Social Security as they don't depend on the government to take care of their elderly.

 

Three things that jumped out at me while reading this chapter were the "Hallmarks" of Amish finances: thrift, delayed gratification and self-control.

 

How did the Amish become so financially intelligent? They learned from the Bible, the best-selling financial book of all time! There are more than 800 Scriptures regarding money and how it should play out in our lives.

 

Here are a few Scriptures that help the Amish be accountable with their money:

 

1. WORK HARD - "Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper." Proverbs 13:4

 

2. Give God your FIRSTFRUITS - "Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce." Proverbs 3:9

 

3. SPEND WISELY - "The wise have wealth and luxury, but fools spend whatever they get." Proverbs 21:20

 

4. BE HONEST in all dealings - "The Lord detests the use of dishonest scales, but he delights in accurate weights." Proverbs 11:1

 

5. GUARD AGAINST GREED - "[Jesus] said, 'Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life in not measured by how much you own." Luke 12:15

 

6. BE PRUDENT - "Don't begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?" Luke 14:28

 

7. Don't become a SLAVE TO DEBT - "Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender." Proverbs 22:7

 

8. Save for the LEAN TIMES - "Have them gather all the food produced in the good years that are just ahead and bring it to Pharaoh's storehouses. Store it away, and guard it so there will be food in the cities. That way there will be enough to eat when the seven years of famine come." Genesis 41:35-36 (Don't you just love the story of Joseph?!)

 

9. PROVIDE for your family, both young and old - "Those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers." I Timothy 5:8

 

10. GIVE GENEROUSLY - "God loves a person who gives cheerfully." II Corinthians 9:7

 

The Bible is chocked full of those who were led astray by money...King Belshazzar, the money changers at Solomon's Porch, Ananias and his wife and Judas (the ultimate money worshipper).

 

Here are some basic suggestions in maintaining our finances:

 

1. Don't buy things you don't need. This is difficult as sometimes we think we need things, but yet we could very well get along without certain things. We all fall into this trap at some level or another. You could get as deep as electricity, running water, etc. here I guess. I love reading about some families who have moved to areas where they use more of their God-given, natural resources and declare that they rarely miss their old modern luxuries (dishwasher, washer/dryer, hair dryer, etc.). These are some things that our family has definitely felt lead to administer in our own lives. We live in such a wasteful, government-dependent society. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm excited (and nervous) about gradual changes in our living circumstances and watching monthly bills diminish, as it effects our finances in a good way.

 

2. Stay out of debt. This country is full of spenders addicted to debt. "Some 40 percent of Americans spend more than they earn each year. The average credit card debt is nearly $16,000 per household." That's scary. Do what you can to stay out of debt even if it costs some rice and bean months/years. Make a commitment and stick with it as a family. Remind your children why you can't eat out whenever you want, buy that toy that Junior so desperately wants, get annual passes to the zoo this year like you have other years. Your children will come to appreciate the special times when you can splurge and you'll enjoy those times more as they're so much more meaningful.

 

3. Save (a lot) more. Even if you've worked hard to get out of debt completely, start saving. The Amish "avoid expensive meals out and high-tech entertainment centers, steer clear of automobiles and gas-guzzling farm equipment, and are generally known for a frugal and simple approach to life." The Amish do business "the old-fashioned way". They save for the times when they have to use money, but don't necessarily have it.

 

4. Give generously. Jesus teaches us how important it is to care for widows, orphans and the poor. The story of the 10 lepers is a great example in Luke 17. I once heard a story about a man who didn't make a fortune for his living, but felt in his heart the need to give. He kept writing checks to those in need and when asked how he was able to still sustain himself after giving away so much money, he replied that he just keeps writing checks and God keeps providing the money to give. I love hearing testimonies of families who have made big decisions for the Lord on complete FAITH and the Lord has blessed them in ways they never dreamed. So exciting to watch God provide in specific ways and in such amazing timing.

 

5. Make investments that reflect your values. The parable of the three servants (Matthew 25:14-30) is a great example of a wise person who invests and how he is praised. God wants to make sure we can be trusted with the small things and then He can entrust us with bigger things.

 

"Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. WHEREVER YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART WILL ALSO BE."
Matthew 6:20-21

 

Almost Amish

Chapter 2 - Technology

 

Technology serves as a tool and not master

 

I was in a predicament one day as I had lost my cell phone. (I'm sure we've all been there.) Funny thing is that it had been lost for a few days before I realized it was missing. I called around and figured out where it had "gone-a-missin' ", loaded up my crew and arrived at our destination. As I ran in to pick it up, the lady behind the counter said something that stuck with me. I thanked her and she said, "Glad you found it. These things are our life line."

 

Our life line.

 

I was taken back.

 

I didn't have the heart to tell her that it had been a few days since I realized I was missing it. It wasn't my life line! But, I know these fancy little contraptions are for some people. I guess I'm just weird, but funny thing is that I'm okay with that. I've come to accept it rather.

 

The whole point of Sleeth's technology chapter today is that technology can be a wonderful thing, but when it becomes our "life line" to where we can't live without it, it can be trouble. Technology can be a great tool, but too much of something is never good.

 

Have you ever been chatting with someone or visiting and their nose is stuck in the phone a large majority of the time and you're thinking, "Hey! Are you even listening to me?"

 

Sleeth made a list of things she loved about technology and they are the following:

 

1. I can work anytime, anywhere.

2. I can check e-mail anytime.

3. People get back to me immediately.

4. I can access entertainment anytime.

5. I can stay informed all the time.

6. I can get in touch with almost anyone, anytime.

7. I can buy almost anything, anytime.

8. I can multitask.

9. There's always something to do.

10. I never feel alone.

 

The funny thing is that she made a list of the things she hated about technology and it was THE SAME LIST.

 

If I'm being honest, there were many things I took away from this book, but one thing that stood out the most and it was in this chapter. She quotes, "Many of us plan expensive vacations to seek these very qualities and 'get away from it all'. For the Amish, it's a way of life."

 

That really stuck. Why wouldn't we want it the other way around? Because we're fed these things by modern media.

There's an order to things in life:

 

Graduate high school. Go to college. Go into debt from college bills (most students, anyway). Get an apartment. Get a dog, perhaps. Date. Seriously Date. Get the career. Continue paying off college loans. Work 8-5 everyday to pay for apartment, loans, nice work attire, etc. Get married (not too early because we want to "enjoy life" first). Have a baby. Buy the bigger house because you'll need the space with a family enlarging. Buy the new car. Continue paying off college loans. Put kids into a nice, private school and pay loads of money while doing it. Pay money for after school activities because every kid needs to be well-rounded, right? Wake up one morning to find that you've acquired an insane amount of debt. It will take forever to pay off and you assume that you'll just always live a life of debt, praying that you can save enough in your 401K plan for retirement.

 

There are very few people who "wake up" early enough to make the changes to get out of the "American debt rut" and if they do wake up, it takes them awhile to get out of the debt and make changes to their life, that is, if they're willing to actually do it.

 

(Ahem, not trying to describe some of what we've gone through personally as a family. Not not at all...Sense sarcasm here!) As we've chosen John 15 to be our family verse, this has been a big part of our pruning. Breaking away from all of the THINGS that society says we need and getting rid of that which hinders us from growing closer to Christ.

 

Point being, we get sucked in to so much of what our culture says is "normal" that we don't think for ourselves. By the time some of us wake up and think for ourselves, sometimes it's too late or we give up and don't want to be "doers".

 

A few more things that I took from this chapter on technology...

 

1. "One of the costs of being linked in is our privacy."

 

2. "...technology should serve as tool, not rule as a master. By establishing boundaries and living within them, the Amish are able to preserve a traditional way of life centered on God, family, and neighbors rather than be at the mercy of technology 'i-gods.' "

 

3. "We Twitter while we drive, talk while we text, and surf until we fall asleep-but even while in bed, we stay plugged in, available 24/7. People tell me they could not live without their cell phones or the Internet or e-mail-and they mean it. Yet in many ways, these technologies lead us to more disconnected-rather than connected-lives."

 

4. "It's a billion-person experiment, and the initial reports are not promising: physicians, psychologists, and educators are sounding alarms about potential negative outcomes of a digitally addicted generation. But my greatest concern is not physical, emotional, or social - it's spiritual. How can we hear the VOICE OF GOD if we are multitasking nonstop?"

 

(*my thoughts: I've recently been reading a book entitled Lead Me Holy Spirit by Stormie Omartian and one of the problems with us today in listening to the Holy Spirit's voice is that we're just too busy. That spoke volumes to me. We don't even give Him the chance to get through to us.)

 

5. "The average American spends just 9 minutes per day in religious and spiritual activities. This disparity between how much time we spend with technology and how much time we spend with God says much about our priorities."

 

6. "When Jesus returns, do I want him to find me asleep-wasting hours on You Tube or playing Spider Solitaire? No. I'd rather have him find me sharing a meal. Listening to a friend. Planting a tree."

 

7. ""...the Amish are very intentional about visiting neighbors and developing strong community ties. Such face-to-face relationships can be weakened by hyperconnectivity to the virtual world."

 

The whole purpose of this blog is to share the pruning that God is doing in our family's personal life and how it is changing the way we think, minister and live our lives because we know that" faith without works is dead". If this blog every becomes something that takes away from time with God to where IT is a "god" or I can't hear the Holy Spirit because I'm too busy working on a blog post, I'll stop.  

 

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."  Romans 12:2

 

Almost Amish...Chapter 1

Homes are simple, uncluttered and clean;
the outside reflects the inside

I just love visiting others' homes. There's something neat about seeing where others abide and dwell day in and day out. Don't you think? When I visit others' homes, I can usually tell right away things about them. If they have a lot of children's toys around, obviously, they have kids. If they have a lot of electronic gadgets floating around, they like technology and probably spend a lot of their time with them. Some families have cluttered homes while some have neat and clean homes with everything in its place. I'd like to think that I'm one of those people (although on any given day you could find lots of odds and ends floating around our house if we haven't had "clean up time" yet!). Most things in our home have a place, but don't always find their way back to the original spot. Ug.

Which is why recently, we've really tried to purge on a regular basis. We just got done purging the boys' room and it's so spacious now. Everyone wants to play in there. We did take a trip to IKEA to purchase some real wooden shelves (hey, when you have four kids, durability is KEY) in which we put everything away. The girls' room is almost there. I've been purging homeschool "stuff" and have yet to do a final purge since reading THIS BOOK by Ruth Beechick (a follower of Charlotte Mason).
 

 

When you visit an Amish community, you'll find that there are no buildings suffering from rot or falling down. There are no trash heaps ready to be burned and their gardens and landscaping are beautifully planned out in organized, fashionable rows (no, they don't have lawn maintenance people that do it for them) to show off God's glorious creation.

 

It's peaceful. Serene. Beautiful and calm. It's to be enjoyed by all. It's what every American would want their outside to look like. A few things that I've learned while reading on Nancy Sleeth's studies of the Amish are as follows:

 1. "The physical structure of the Amish home is designed to accommodate multiple generations living together."

 

2. Their homes were designed to last for centuries as they use strong woods to create their doors, cabinetry, furniture, countertops, etc.

 

3. They keep their homes uncluttered.

 

4. The kitchen is the heart of their home. They don't have electric refrigerators, stand mixers, food processors, blenders, slow cookers, popcorn poppers, microwaves, dishwashers...you name it.

 

5. They have the space to entertain and practice hospitality on a regular basis. What a great way to teach your children service just as Jesus did while feasting with others in your home. There's just something about breaking bread with fellow believers together around a table and talking about the intimate details of their lives.

 

 6. "They avoid using appearance as a form of self-expression or to attract attention to their bodies, which can lead to pride." So, clean out those closets, simplify your wardrobes, don't be afraid to shop at thrift stores (you can save a bundle!) and think modesty. This is one of the things I struggle with most as I see pictures posted on Facebook of former students, old friends, etc. in skimpy attire. Or when we're out at the beach. Sometimes it can be outright embarrassing (especially if I'm with  my husband and sons) if our family is near others who choose to show off as much flesh as possible.

 

7. Avoiding the mall can be a huge bonus, especially if you have daughters who want to keep up with the latest fashion.

 

8. Keep vanities simple. Have one, small bag for makeup ladies. We don't need a suitcase full to make ourselves beautiful. I did this years ago and love having a small pencil case of one of everything. Try to stick to cosmetics that are healthy too. Mineral-based, sugar-based, etc. don't release huge amounts of parabens into your bodies. Healthfood stores can have a great selection.

 

 

9. Keep your garage, attic and/or basement organized. Get rid of things that drive you crazy and don't regularly use or aren't of GREAT sentimental value. Sometimes it's hard parting with those "treasures", but it feels even better tossing it or donating it to someone else and you won't remember it in a week. Trust me.

 

10. "Possessions should work for us; we should not work for them.

Too easily, our homes and the stuff that fills them can become false idols, tempting us to break the first of the Ten Commandments."

 

I'll close with this:

 

I love this picture that Sleeth gives about a simple woman...

 

"Think of the most attractive woman you know. Besides my mom, whom I love above all else, the woman who comes to my mind has tray hair, worn just above her shoulders. The only cosmetic I every recall seeing her wear is clear lip balm. Her eyebrows are thick and expressive. She's in great shape, her body strong and her movements spritely. But the traits I notice first are her smile and her prolonged hug. Though blessed with six children and a dozen grandchildren of her own, every time I enter her home she treats me like a daughter she has been waiting to see. The lines around her mouth and eyes deepen when she laughs with me, and she continues to hold my hand while we talk. She is one of the most lovely women I know."

 

Almost Amish

 

I came across an article months ago that was focused on a book called "Almost Amish". I ordered the book (ahem, cause I was curious) and read it. It's written by Nancy Sleeth, wife and mother of two. After reading her Introduction, I immediately clicked with her and her story because, quite frankly, I could relate. I could relate big time.

 

 

We live in this fast-paced, technology-driven world where talking to someone face to face is rare (because let's face it, we'd rather text for a quick responce), living in a community of fellow believers is unheard of (we all have to drive a vehicle to get to our church or family/friends' homes) and we don't know where in the heck our food comes from. Even if we do (as a faithful food co-op customer...and hooray for those!), we're not growing it ourselves and teaching our children the value in the process of growing food itself. We've lost our identity to supply our needs and it's hurting us, big time.

"For since the creation of the world God's inisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been  made, so that  men are without excuse." Romans 1:20

 

In today's day-in-age, if we genuinely care for our earth and its creation, we're called "hippie tree huggers" or you fill in the blank here. There are so many devout Christians out there who care just as much about our earth, our food, tight-knit communities, etc. but they're helping the cause because there's an even BIGGER reason. It's God's creation and He has commanded us (Genesis 2:15) to take care of it.

This earth is not ours. It is on loan to us by God.

 (Psalm 2:1...The earth is the LORD's and everything in it."
 

For the next 10 blog posts (unless the Lord lays it on my heart to interrupt this series), I'm going to be using Nancy Sleeth's "Almost Amish" book to explain my and my husband's desire to move into a more simplistic way of life. A meaningful way of life that we can pass down to our children and grandchildren (debt-free is the ultimate goal!). A way of life that I truly believe is God-honoring. A way of life that we have lost in our American culture, in which very few still live by. One of the groups that hasn't strayed from this way of life is, in fact, the Amish and Sleeth's fascination with them and study of them is truly inspiring.

 

I'm not telling everyone to go out and buy a long, black dress with head covering (although I would never condemn anyone for doing so if they felt lead by the Holy Spirit to live such a life of modesty!) and drive a horse and buggy around, but there is something to be said about this fascinating group of God-fearing people. Their divorce rates are below 1%. Their obesity rates are below 4%. Their children are obedient and respectful at such young ages. Their lives are centered around family and their church body. They know the value of hard work and their respect for God's creation is so inspirational.

Some people, in order to discover God, read books. But there is a great book: the very appearance of created things. Look above you! Look below you! Read it. God, whom you want to discover, never wrote that book with ink. Instead He set beofre your eyes the things that He had made. Can you ask for a louder voice than that?"

~St. Augustine (354 - 430)

 

Last night, I watched this film...below...(not Hollywood produced, but let's just say that that didn't matter...I bawled like a baby...no it wasn't the pregnancy hormones, ha!). It's about the school shooting that took place in an Amish community years ago and the lesson in forgiveness, true forgiveness, is a lesson that is easier said than done. Please take time to watch it (when little ones are napping as some of it is disturbing and not appropriate) and if you so feel lead to purchase the book and follow along with me, it'll be fun!

The next 10 posts will be concerning (her 10-chapter book):

1. Homes: Homes are simple, uncluttered, and clean; the outside reflects the inside
2. Technology: Technology serves as a tool and does not rule as a master
3. Finances: Saving more and spending less bring financial peace
4. Nature: Time spent in God's creation reveals the face of God
5. Simplicity: Small and local leads to saner lives
6. Service: Service to others reduces loneliness and isolation
7. Security: The only true security comes from God.
8. Community: Knowing neighbors and supporting local businesses build community
9. Families: Family ties are lifelong; they change but never cease
10. Faith: Faith life and way of life are inseparable

*For some reason, the You Tube movie isn't downloading to this site. Please go to You Tube and type in "Amish Grace" and you'll be able to watch the film. Have some tissues on hand.

Large Family Logistics Annotations

So, I ordered Large Family Logistics over the summer and had it read in a little over a week. I couldn't put it down. Kim Brenneman is a mother to a large family (9 children, I'm pretty sure) and she wrote this book for her daughters so that someday, they may take her advice, learn from her life as a mother and glean what they can as they too become mothers someday. I love they way Kim shares the ups and downs of being a mother, how she remains Biblically centered, quotes Scripture and how she breaks down the book into several specific chapters on raising a family, keeping a home, homeschooling and basic managing skills. So many girls today are not being taught the simplistics of keeping up a home and running a family. It's sad, really. We're too busy! We're too busy to teach some of the most important things our little girls will need to be truly successful in life. Thanks Kim for writing this and I hope to collect one of these books for each of my own daughters and give it to them as they ready themselves to raise a family, God-willing. *Please note that this book is not for mothers who have 9 or more children. Although I have four, I found this book totally applicable and would find it applicable to any mother no matter how many children you have.

I've written down annotations for the book and this post, I'll share chapters 1-12 (scroll down if you don't want to read the chapter titles). The chapters that are covered in Kim's book are as follows:

Chapter 1 - The Wise Woman

2 - goals

3 - Systems

4 - Self-Discipline

5 - Attitude is Critical

6 - Where Does the Time Go?

7 - The Interrupted Day

8 - The Psalms-Your Spiritual Multi-Vitamin

9 - Give Your Children a Work Ethic

10 - Repeating Yourself?

11 - Teaching a New Chore

12 - Rejecting Me-Centeredness, Redeeming Time Alone

13 - Life with Littles

14 - Baby Balance

15 - The Family Dynamic

16 - Your Own Personal Spa

17 - Dress for Success

PART TWO

18 - Your Home Management Book

19 - Laundry Day

20 - Kitchen Day

21 - Office Day

22 - Town Day

23 - Cleanign DAy

24 - Deep Cleaning

25 - Gardening Day

26 - The Lord's Day

27 - Tea Party Day

28 - Morning and Evening Routines

29 - Meal Time Routines

30 - Table Time

31 - 15 Minutes of Phonics

32 - Quiet Time

33 - Read Aloud Time

34 - Afternoon Chore Time

35 - Bathroom Management

36 - Bedroom Management

37 - The Children's Hour

38 - Family Worship

39 - Home Crafts

40 - Homeschooling the Large Family

41 - Health and Wellness

42 - Teh Playroom

43 - Feast Night

44 - Meal Planning

45 - Project Day

46 - Pregnancy and Preparing for Baby

47 - The Buddy System

Appendix A - Coping While Exhausted and Overwhelmed

Appendix B - Moving Beyond Survival Mode

Chapter 1: The Wise Woman
Breaking down the Proverbs 31 woman.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3:23-24

Chapter 2: Goals
Set clearly defined goals for yourself and your family (with your husband, of coarse).
Some goals may be...learning how better to train your children, growing spiritually in the Word, goals in marriage, exercise, hospitality, etc.
Write them down. Have steps planned out for each goal. Make them monthly, focusing on one per month if you like.

Chapter 3: Systems
Kim shares on how to work through a new method while teaching a new thing:
1. Show them how to do it, demonstrate the protocol.
2. Watch them do it, giving correction.
3. Let them do it unsupervised with you checking later, and give further instruction if needed.
4. Require independent work with occasional checks; if they begin to be sloppy (they are human), then start over.
“Systems don’t work if you don’t work the system.” (Kim’s husband)

Chapter 4: Self-Discipline
“You can have wisdom on how to rightly live and have the most refined set of goals and well-tuned system in the world on how to get there, but if you don’t pursue your goals and implement your plan, your ideas are next to worthless.” Kim

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

Be like Jesus!

Chapter 5: Attitude is Critical
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23
Jeremiah 17:9, Psalm 119:10, Matthew 15:8, Numbers 14:18 (anger), James 1:20 (anger)
Obedience is a CHOICE!
“I once heard a speaker at a mother-daughter retreat tell us mothers to get in line with Jesus and that our daughters would follow our lead. If our children see us being Sunday Christians, then theywon’t take Christianity seriously, and church will just be a Sunday social club.” Kim

Chapter 6: Where Does the Time Go?
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under the heaven.”Ecclesiastes 3:1

Kim shares how to break down your day and tips for managing time wisely.

Chapter 7: The Interrupted Day
There will be days when things don’t go as planned. There are interruptions, but you have to make the choice whether to recover and get back in the saddle, or sulk. Attitude is everything!
(Note: I had one of those days yesterday when we had a totally fun-packed day, but we came home and the house was a MESS and I had to get dinner ready and the house cleaned in 1 HOUR. I pulled the troops together, we tidied up the house and I made a quick dinner. We also had enough time to light candles, put on some dinner music and set the table with pretty dishes. Rob never knew our day was so chaotic! I was so close to just having a “pizza night” and cleaning after the kids went to bed, but we pulled it together and we recovered. So happy we did.)

Proverbs 16:1-9…An interrupted day is God’s plan for the life of a mother!!!

Chapter 8: The Psalms – Your Spiritual Multi-Vitamin
Go to sleep with a Psalm. Wake up to a Psalm. Even if you can’t have an in-depth study to start or end the day, at least get some of the Word and some prayer time in.

The “I’m Stresses Psalm”…(131) O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore.”

Chapter 9: Give Your Children a Work Ethic
“The principal cause of boredom is the hatred of work. People are trained from childhood to hate it. Parents often feel guilty about making children do anything but the merest gestures toward work. Perhaps the children are required to make their beds and, in feeble and half-hearted fashion, tidy up their rooms once a month or so. But take full responsibility to clear the table, load the dishwasher, scrub the pots, wipe the counters? How many have the courage to ask this of a ten-year-old? It would be to omuch to ask of many ten-year-olds because parents have seriously asked nothing of them when they were two or three. Children quickly pick up the parents’ negative attitudes toward work and think of it as something most sedulously to be avoided.” – Elizabeth Elliot

Kim laughs as she has read chores suggested for multiple ages from other sources. She says, “Scraping hog floors didn’t make the list?”  She touches on how farm kids work hard and have a lot of dirty work. Hard physical work builds character. Practicing character traits happens with work and provides opportunities to see the rewards. She also touches on how boys need physical work (chopping firewood, mending fences, pruning trees/bushes, digging holes, etc.), start YOUNG so it’s habit-forming and expected, don’t expect children to do the quality of work that an adult would but to encourage them to do excellent work. Study God’s Word and what it says about work. Set a goal such as going for a treat when the work is done well. Older children will help teach the younger ones attitude, character traits, and the chore. Be sure to teach the older children WELL. Teach children to be helpful when you visit others’ homes or social events. Teach them to ask the host/hostess “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Some verses on work:
Proverbs 6:6
Proverbs 10:26
Proverbs 13:4
Proverbs 14:23
Proverbs 18:9
Proverbs 20:4
Proverbs 20:13
Proverbs 21:17
Proverbs 22:29
Proverbs 24:30-34
Proverbs 26:13-16
Proverbs 27:1
I Corinthians 4:2
Philippians 4:13
Colossians 3:22-23
II Thessalonians 3:10
I Timothy 5:8

Motto: “We work before we play.”

Chapter 10: Repeating Yourself?
We fall into this habit a lot, repeating ourselves louder with each direction when children should obey the first time we ask. We are busy moms and we’re great at multi-tasking, but child discipline isn’t something that can be multi-tasked. We need to stop and focus. We need to train ourselves to hear ourselves. It’s hard, but repeating ourselves is training our children to continue in disobedience.

Train children to respond with “Yes, ma’am” when they’ve heard you give an instruction. That signals to you that they heard you. Make eye contact with them if you have to give the instruction again so that they have clearly heard you.

When men focus their attention in loving or disciplining a child, it is beautiful. We need to take a lesson from the men here!

Role play attentiveness!

Perhaps you are instructing a child and there is bickering going on the next room. Assuming there’s not a major crisis, focus and finish with the first child. Then go to the bickering children and give instruction and discipline there.

If you have a friend whose child-rearing standards are different, and who brings you down, get some space from her. Misery loves company, and you need to choose encouragers to be with, not the miserable. Don’t be the one who drags others down; be an encourager! (Prov. 13:20b) Spend limited time with that person because bad influences will undo your children’s training.

Chapter 11: Teaching a New Chore
“Inspect what you expect”

1. Tell them
2. Show them
3. Do it with them
4. Supervised practice
5. Independent practice

Do not expect a child to do a chore well when you have only done the first two steps with them. It can take a long time to get from Step One to Step Five, depending on the child and the specific chore.

Make it a fun event…the teaching of a new chore. Celebrate with a treat!

You should never treat your children like slaves or your personal minions. The goal is to raise a godly seed.
Don’t complain…Philippians 2:14
Do your work unto the Lord…Colossians 3:23
A cheerful heart is good medicine…Prov. 15:13
Do more than the minimum required…Colossians 1:10

Remember that attitude is everything and little eyes are always watching you and how your attitude is towards work.

Chapter 12: Rejecting Me-Centeredness, Redeeming Time Alone
Motherhood is a life of sacrifice; it is a life poured out for our children. So what are we to do to get some space from it all? When we are honest with ourselves, we know that it is not “Me Time” we need or a “Girl’s Night Out”. Children are not a burden to escape or endure; they are a blessing that drives us to Christ because we are incapable of parenting well without Him. God is who we need. While there are helpful strategies we can employ in order to have a more peaceful day with our children, the number one thing we must do is to deny Self and cling to the cross.

Early morning silence can be a balm to the soul. Sit by the fire with a coffee/tea and Bible in hand. God doesn’t always give us a beautiful start to every day though. If kiddos are up early, read the Bible to them. Deuteronomy 6 (the Sh’ma) is always great for the whole family to appreciate God’s gift of beauty and quiet in the morning.

Naptime is also another good time to have quiet time to yourself to read the Bible, do a quiet craft or take a nap yourself. Keep your focus right by honoring God with your Quiet Time. Yet don’t let Quiet Time itself become an idol.

Evening…your bedside table is a good place to keep those most important things to rejuvenate your life. Your Bible and a prayer journal should always be there awaiting you.

Relationships – Make Jesus your best friend! A stay-at-home mom can easily miss the interaction of friends and it can be a lonely job at times. It can also be the best job in the world.

Friendships – There are good ones and bad ones. The Bible is chocked full of examples.

I love how Kim breaks down relationships/friendships…God first, then husband, then nurturing our children. Don’t let friends take over these relationships. There’s a reason God has set family relationships as priority. If friendships with other mothers are taking over our relationships to our God and immediate family, then we need to prioritize. However, if you’re never leaving home to fellowship with other like-minded ladies as well as older sisters in Christ, then you won’t have a chance to grow such as Titus 2 says. If you find that your friends are not making godly decisions, you may want to rethink that friendship. (Romans 14:19; I Corinthians 14:26)

*I'll be sharing remaining chapter annotations in the future so stay tuned! ;)

Choosing To SEE

So, my birthday was a few weeks ago and the big 3-1 hit faster than I thought. Before I knew it, it was here and I was no longer just 30, I was officially 31, which puts you into the "thirties category". You're no longer just 30, you're thirty-ONE. Ug. Anyway, my sweet husband bought me a present, a book that I saw in a Christian bookstore one night as we were on a date. It's called Choosing To See and it's by Mary Beth Chapman, wife of Christian singer and songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman. I just finished the book in 2 days and just as Mary Beth Chapman quotes frequently throughout her book, "there are no words".

When I first saw the book in the bookstore, I thought it was quaint. I thought it was more of a bibliography, versus an emotional roller coaster of a ride with God, wrestling with His coarse for the Chapman family's life. I was doing fine with the beginning chapters, but THEN, oh THEN. I got to the middle and as Mary Beth started describing the gruesome and detailed scene of her daughter's death, I lost it. I was actually reading the book in bed, alone, amongst the quiet of our house. No small voices, no pitter-pattering feet and no one needing this mother's attention. Just me and my book.

Well, after using up 1/2 a roll of toilet paper and sobbing like a baby as I continued to read, my sweet husband came back to "check on me" and make sure I was okay. (It's a big deal for me to not to spend time with Rob in the evenings. It's OUR time and we truly cherish it, whether we're folding laundry or just chatting away about our day. Never-the-less, I desperately NEEDED to finish this book. I was hooked.) As he walked into the room, I dabbed my eyes, blew my nose and told him that this book was not meant to be read alone. It should've come with a warning label or something...

"This book, not to be read alone. Especially by mothers!"

So, he gave me a sweet hug and asked if he should stay. I declined and told him that I had to continue reading. Mind you, I was into my fourth hour of consistent reading, but I needed to get to a joyful part. Something positive, please. It was even more difficult reading this book due to the fact that Mary Beth's daughter who was tragically killed was the same age as my own budding five-year-old, Avonlea. I had to draw the line. I had to put up a wall, retelling my brain that this was not my own child and we were not in this situation. It did bring some memories to mind though, if I'm being completely honest. I thought back to the time when we lost our own 7-week-old baby in utero just a few years before. Seeing this precious, little creation flip and flop on the ultrasound monitor, you'd thought everything was fine. He/She was having a party in there, but little did we know. I thought back to when I lost my own brother to Down's Syndrome (I am the oldest of five). It brought back memories from when I've seen others lose children or young babies. It hurt.

I think that sometimes, as Christians, we feel as though we should be "trained" to give certain Christian responses. That we should be strong enough to withstand ANYTHING God might throw our way and it's okay because we're Christians. If anything, I personally see Christians as a magnet for Satan. An invitation, if you will.

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

I Peter 5:8

Spiritual warfare is ALIVE my friends. We see if on the news. We see it in everyday life. This nation we call America has gone from God-fearing, to diverse, to rebellious, to desiring tolerance and co-existence (Don't you just love those COEXIST bumper stickers?) to outright persecution, and it's only going to get worse. It's been prophesied.

Anyhow, this book left me thinking about God's plan for each of our lives. I came away with some conclusions...

1. "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Do I REALLY live this?

2. I have to continue to give God ALL the glory and not only that, BUT give Him the glory when it's something that wasn't in "my plans". Something that's tragic. Something that seems too much to bare.

3. Living differently. Here's a quote that I'm going to copy and I hope it touches you and gives you a different perspective on time with loved ones, especially your little ones.

"How would I have lived differently if I knew that my time with Maria was going to be this short? Regretfully, I would have lived much differently. I would have purposely hugged and kissed more. I would have tried to memorize and lock away in my heart certain smells and smiles. I would have colored more and worked less. I would have laughed more and fussed less. Bedtime wouldn't have become a chore to check of the list of things to get done. Instead it would have been more of an opportunity to listen about the day and offer whatever words were needed. The swimming pool wouldn't have been too cold to swim in. The flowers in the garden would have all been picked, and definitely more ice cream would have been consumed!" ~Mary Beth Chapman

The book goes on to share the many wonderful memories that graced the Chapman household...weddings, graduations, accomplishments, adoptions, songs, etc. However, Mary Chapman STILL (two and a half years later) still struggles everyday with the loss of her precious daughter Maria Sue. There are some neat family photos in this book too. Get your tissues ready though when you get to them. They're precious.

The biggest thing I walked away with though was LISTENING TO GOD. This is one thing that because of their tragedy, the Chapmans yearned for. They yearned to HEAR God's voice. They yearned for signs that things were going to be okay and that Maria was safe in the arms of Jesus. I know sometimes we, as parents, get so entangled in the everyday activities and we forget to just sit down, BE STILL ("Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10)
and LISTEN. I think that's what the title of this book really represents, Choosing To SEE. The Chapmans chose to SEE all that God was doing in their lives throughout this tragedy and although we call it a tragedy, God sees it as something in His plans. He is there to comfort us and hold us in those times, but He has a specific will and purpose for our losses and trials here on earth.

I could sit here for hours (I'm sure!) and continue sharing, but a small baby needs my mothering and attention, so I'm off. I hope that this entry blessed someone today and that if you get the chance to read Choosing To SEE, your life will be changed forever.

God Bless sweet friends!

Contentment

*Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather.
*Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
*Never compare your lot with another's.
*Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
*Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

These are wise words from a book I'm reading called, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. If only I could put these words into practice every minute of my life! :) God is SO good to have kept me in check of this today.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of the book I'm reading talks about the mother's role in planting self-esteem in her children, as well as having unselfish love.

Here's to you moms...(based off of I Corinthians 13)

“If I talk to my children about what is right and what is wrong but have not love, I am like a ringing doorbell or pots banging in the kitchen. And though I know what stages they will go through, and understand their growing pains, and can answer all their questions about life, and believe myself to be a devoted mother, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give up the fulfillment of a career to make my children’s lives better, and say up all night sewing costumes or baking cookies on short notice, but grumble about lack of sleep, I have not love and accomplish nothing.

A loving mother is patient with her children’s immaturity and kind even when they are not; a loving mother is not jealous of their youth nor does she hold it over their heads whenever she has sacrificed for them. A loving mother does not push her children into doing things her way. She is not irritable, when the chicken pox have kept her confined with three whining children for two weeks, and does not resent the child who brought the affliction home in the first place.

A loving mother is not relieved when her disagreeable child finally disobeys her directly and she can punish him, but rather rejoices with him when he is being more cooperative. A loving mother bears much of the responsibility for her children; she believes in them; she hopes in each one’s individual ability to stand out as a light in the dark world; she endures every backache and heartache to accomplish that.

A loving mother never really dies. As for home baked bread, it will be consumed and forgotten; as for spotless floors, they will soon gather dust and heel marks. And as for children, well, right now toys, friends and food are all-important to them. But when they grow up it will have been how their mother loved them that will determine how they love others. In that way she will live on.

So care, training, and a loving mother reside in a home, these three, but he greatest of these is a loving mother.”



Written By: Dianne Lorang as quoted in Keep the Fire Glowing

Chapter 2 - Masculine Model of Leadership

More food for thought with me today. =) I'm really enjoying this book, can you tell? I'm quoting in on my blog for goodness sakes!


This chapter is based off of I Thessalonians 2:8-12 and it talks about the father's role in relationships with the kiddos.

There were 5 guidelines for the Daddys...

1.) A Fond Affection -
"It's easy to hug and kiss a baby, even a small child. But as that child grows up, physical affection is often replaced iwth physical aloofness-which can have some disastrous results."

2.) A Transparent Life -
"They [kids] need instruction about life, and they need a father who lets them watch him live it, mistakes and all. They need to see how you handle your finances, how you make decisions, what your values are, and what makes you laugh. They need to hear you admit when you're wrong and see you stand up for your faith. They need to know you inside out-and to feel your interest and belief in them."

3.) An Unselfish Diligence -
"They [kids] don't need material goods in place of your time. They don't need to see the fruit of their father's labor instead of their father. But they do need to see their dad do a day's work for a day's pay; and they do need opportunities to earn their own way."

4.) A Spiritual Authenticity -
"Too many fathers leave the spiritual aspect of child raising to Mom; if Christ is taught at all, it's usually by the mother. Dads need ot teach Christ too, and then live their lives in a way that backs it up."

5.) A Positive Influence -
This is a true statistic..."For every single positive statement made in the average home, there are TEN negative ones." !!!
"Children whose ears are full of hte words "No" and "Don't" and "Stop that!" learn not to trust their instincts, not to try. Children who hear "That's great!" and "You can do it!" as often as they hear "That's not a good idea" will face new challenges with self-confidence and explore their potential without fear."

Please keep my friends Adam and Lori in your prayers as they are in Russia right now adopting their little angel, Ellie (just turned two years old). Things are going better and I can't wait to see pictures of them walking out of that orphanage with her in their arms forever. God bless you guys if you're reading this!

The Strong Family by Charles Swindoll

I found a book this afternoon that I thought might be interesting to read. It's called The Strong Family and Charles Swindoll wrote it. I've always been a fan of Chuck and Lucy Swindoll so I thought I might take into account what this book is about. I really like it so far and I thought it might also be fun to blog about some of the highlights. There are 18 chapters so I'll try to sum up each chapter for the next 18 days. We'll see if I can stick to it. =)

Chapter 1 - An Endangered Species
This chapter (based off Deuteronomy 6:1-24) discusses the responsibility that we, as parents, have to nurture and grow our children in the Lord. He talks about Moses and his responsibility of leading the Isrealites to the land of milk and honey. One of the key verses is Deuteronomy 6:1-5. We need to make sure that we are genuine with our faith because our children are always watching what we do and how we live our lives. You can't fake a love for Christ (although sometimes I think people can be pretty good at it!). "Parents who model this love will forever impact their children for good."

Charles states that the home should always be a place where God can be openly discussed and talked about at any time. (Amen!)

This chapter also talked about family devotions and how sometimes, they don't go over well. Kids can get busy with their own lives (just as we adults do!) and not take into consideration how important a devotional (a genuine devotional) can be. Swindoll gives some neat books and ideas on how to "pep up" devotional time. In the long run, it is our responsibility as parents (not the church's, not a teacher's, not a Sunday School teacher's responsibility) to educate our children in the Lord, making sure they observe us (parents) reaching out to those in need, feeding the homeless, reading our Bibles, praying...being AUTHENTIC.

"St. Francis of Assisi reportedly said, 'Preach Jesus, and only when necessary, use words.' "

"It's a Mom Thing"

My mom gave me a book (It's a Mom Thing by Tina Neidlein) shortly after having Avonlea and I thought I just had to share some of the incerpts...

- Those last 5 post-baby pounds are impossible to lose...especially when you haven't lost the first 20!

- Weird how having a baby makes you remember to take that birth control pill...sometimes two just in case!

- So, if I become a stay-at-home mom, does that mean the kids have to stay home too?

- Wow! I must've kidproofed the cleaning supply cabinet a little too well...apparently, even my husband can't get into it.

- Shouldn't running errands count as exercise? Hello! It's called "running".

- Like any mom, I have dreams for my kids...picking up their own socks, sleeping past 7:00a.m. on the weekends...my dreams are small.

- Telling another adult you have to "go potty" doesn't make you pathetic...okay, just a little.

- I'm not positive, but I think I can hear a choir of angels whenever I open the fridge and discover leftovers.

- Show me a mom without stretch marks and I'll shw you-actually, I'll just sob. Maybe don't show me that mom, okay?

- Can someone please send ME to time-out? Hour...half-hour...I'll sit quietly-I promise!

- They call it a baby shower because it's the last shower you ever get to enjoy again.

-The longest road you'll ever travel isn't a road at all. It's called "the cereal aisle".

- Just because it's a minivan, doesn't mean it won't play Zeppelin.

- Now, "dry cleaning" means...I'm able to scrape the stain off with my fingernail.

I hope this brought about a smile or laugh to you hard-working moms out there!