Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Family Size and Quiverfull...Part 3

So, will our family have more children? I don't know. I know that I'd love to welcome more children into our home whether we do biologically or through the beautiful act of adoption, if either are His will. (Psalms 82:3-4; Genesis 22:21-22; Deuteronomy 24:17-21)
(photo courtesy of Google)
I know that if the Lord's will is to continue having children, He will give us a faith about it. He will continue to give me the physical ability of carrying them. If he so wishes to add to our family through adoption, He will provide those finances as well as open doors for opportunities. And, His will may be that we not have any more children at all and we're okay with that. We have comfort in His best for us.

Our family has been on a long, patient journey for obtaining land and we have sat back and watched the Lord open and close doors in specific ways. He has spoken to us through other believers and their advice. He has done this with many aspects of our lives and not just the land He provided. We believe He will do the same with our family's size.

I love reading Jeremiah 29:11...

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

He already knows the plans He has for us and He will reveal those plans to us if we seek Him with all of our heart.

(photo courtesy of Google)
Please know that I am not against a Quiver full family who wishes to have as many babies as their body allows, however, I would never pass judgment on a family who decided not to do so. Even if I knew their heart and if it had selfish reasoning behind their choice of family size. It's not what Jesus would do. I'm sure He could think of MANY things for us to be concentrating on (ministering to the homeless, loving on a post-abortive mother who doesn't know what to do, a person who needs groceries or someone to listen to them, etc.).

Some things that I know have crossed my mind since becoming more open to family size are:

-Natural Family Planning can be effective if well kept track of and you don't have to worry about contraptions being inserted into your body, unnatural hormones or permanent surgeries of which you may change your mind. Read HERE for some amazing stories on vasectomy reversals.
Norah - 4 yrs.old
- Just because you've had cesarean sections doesn't mean you are limited. My obstetrician has personally had patients with up to 9 c-sections without major complications. There's also a great link HERE to read a story of a mother who had 9 c-sections. I've heard many-a-story of women who's doctors said their uterine lining was too thin, but they had somehow conceived again and when they went in for an ultrasound, their lining was perfectly fine. No doubt, God was in that!

- As Christians, we are being out-populated by Muslims. I hesitate to share this video because I haven't done extensive research on the statistics, but the general objective is that we are being out populated and that our children and grandchildren are going to have a completely different world than what we grew up with, and we're moving FAST (I'm not just talking about population either. Technology has never progressed so quickly in human existence). Please note that I have friends who are Muslims and am in no way trying to be disrespectful.

- We only get a certain amount of years in our adult life to have children. I had a friend who chased the career and was so sad to learn that she had missed her chance to have children as she went into early menopause. My heart grieves for her as I know she wishes she could've changed some priorities in her life.

As I wrap up, my main goal to get across with this post on child-bearing is two-fold:

1.) PRAY, PRAY, and PRAY some more, asking the Holy Spirit for His will in your life regarding this area (and every area at that).

2.) and two, it is a heart issue.

What is your attitude towards children? Do you want to send them to their room, i-pad in hand so that you can have your peace and quiet, or do you take time to get to know their heart on an intimate level, talking, praying, and participating in their interests?
(Titus - newborn)
Ask them personal questions about their life:

What they want to be as they grow older?
Who is their best friend and what they admire in them?
What are their fears and hopes?
 What books do they like to read?
 What frustrates them?
 What do they enjoy in their free time?
What is their spiritual gift?
What is your love language?
How can I pray for you?

I hear of so many "programs" which are supposed to bring family together. We don't need anymore programs! Get your family together and just start reading the Bible. Study it. Memorize it. Start asking and answering the hard questions. Of coarse, you need to make time for this, cutting out the unnecessary that is getting in the way of your family reaching a closer level with Jesus. Prioritize. What's more important? Baseball or Jesus? Ballet or Jesus? Violin or Jesus? I'm not saying that baseball, ballet or violin are "bad things", but do they take precedence over getting closer to Jesus in the time that you have as a family? This is a tough, but very important question to ask. 

One of the biggest reasons I believe God intended for us to "be fruitful and multiply" is for multi-generational faithfulness and discipleship to occur. (Another post I have churning and will do my best to share soon.)
(Avonlea and Lincoln)

We love having a "large" family. I think that in some ways, it's easier. Yep. Easier. My children are always playing with each other, entertaining each other, learning together, playing together, inventing together. They're best pals. It makes those "Mommy, play with me" moments special. (I don't get a lot of "I'm bored" either. (Really.)

I love holidays with lots of family, family dinners with lots of tushies in seats (or at least we attempt to train them to stay in their seats...ha!), lots of toothbrushes on the sink, and although the laundry and dishes can really pile up, we work together and somehow, pull it off at the end of the day.

Having a larger family is certainly louder and messier, but I don't mind those things. {grin} Rob and I make a point to spend one on one time with each child as much as possible. It's not really a challenge though with only five. We take them out on "Mommy dates" and "Daddy dates", just spending time, asking heart-to-heart questions. We purposely cut out outside activities for this purpose. We love eating dinner and after table chores, playing outside as a family, no ties to anyone else's schedule demands.

Are there times of complete chaos, whining, arguments over toys...YES. But I truly believe that it's our ATTITUDE as parents that chooses to resolve these times in self-control and maturity OR frustration and anger. We mess up daily, but as long as there's repentance and we are working on improving that area of our life, the Lord is so gracious to forgive. 

  Psalm 127:3..."Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."

Enjoy your children!


1 comment:

jay said...

Hello, I'm a new reader here.
I just wanted to say I love this post (and the other ones in this mini-series).
Large families have always fascinated me. I have two of my own and I flit day to day from being happy with my pigeon pair, to just wanting to jump in the deep end and have as many as practical. I've heard about quiverfull and there's a family in our church that has just had number 14.
I personally think that God allows us the freedom to choose the size of our family. If he plans more children for us, then they will happen, even if we are using contraception.
That being said, I would definitely find it really sad if we only ever had the two. In the same vein, if God thinks that is enough for us, then try as we might, it might not happen.
Pretty much, submit to God's will one way or another.