Picky Eater and Chores...Using Reality Discipline

Rob and I have been enjoying a class each week at our church called "Parents R Us". We've been studying a book called Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Dr. Kevin Leman and boy, does it have some great stuff. He emphasizes reality discipline out the ying-yang and Rob and I have used some this week and although it's been stressful, I think it's slowly sinking into Avonlea's brain.

Discipline Scenerio #1: Picky Eating

I don't make seperate meals for the people in our family, with the exception of when I cook fish, I make Rob a burger since he protests fish. I want our kids to try new foods and not get hung up on chicken nuggests and fries. In fact, I've never made chicken nuggets for dinner (ever) and fries are only when we eat out (which is rare). So, I'm not sure why, but Avonlea has recently become quite the picky eater (the girl used to eat squash, spinach, you name it!). The other day, I tried something that the book suggests. I didn't set a place for Avonlea at dinner (this is your cue to gasp!!!). Yes, we all sat down for our meal and when Avonlea realized that everyone else was eating, she came out and asked why she didn't have a place set for her. I told her because she refuses to eat her dinner each night and I'm tired of arguing with her. So, after a few minutes of her walking around the house and watching us all eat, she asked if she could have a place set for her and eat along with us. I said sure. She sat down and ate about 1/2 her dinner! It was great. The only problem is that we had the same problem last night and she really didn't eat. We were off to church and she chose not to eat her dinner (Mexican rice, beans and fajitas). We had to leave and her dinner was sitting on the table cold, still uneaten. So, we left. I told her teacher no snacks that night and would you believe that the first words out of her mouth when I picked her up were, "Mommy, I'm SO hungry. I think I'll eat my dinner." (Sigh of relief.) We went home, heated up dinner and she ate some. Not as much as I wanted her to, but something. It's a work-in-progress, but I'm hoping that if we can just stay consistent, it'll all pay off in the end.

Discipline Scenerio #2: Morning Chores

This morning was a BATTLE. Not sure why because we didn't do anything different, but never-the-less, Avonlea refused to do her chores. Instead of nagging her this morning, I simply told her that I was going to turn on the tv at 9:00 and she and Lincoln could watch a show while I got dressed, showered and did the dishes. BUT, she had to have her morning chores done (there's get dressed, brush hair/teeth, make bed and feed pets). I help her with feeding the pets. She knows how to do them all and this has been a routine for months now. She lolly-gagged around this morning and when she heard the tune to "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse", she flipped out because her show was starting and she wasn't able to watch it. She asked if she could watch it and I replied, "Are your chores done?" (no) The final verdict was that she took so long to get her chores done, she only got to watch 5 minutes of her show. Oh well.

I think she's just really starting to test her boundaries. It's not like we're not being consistent or anything. She's just seeing what she can get away with and whom she can get away with it. I know the Lord will honor the decision Rob and I have made to stay strong and not give in. It's not easy, but what part of parenting is? =)

I was reminded of some verses this morning that had to do with parenting. I'm so glad that the Lord has given us His word to learn from, especially in this aspect of life. He tells us exactly what He expects of us as parents and as children. Here are just a few of my favorites. Take time today to read His word, pray sincerely and humbly and jot down a few thoughts on parenting. We have such an important job moms and dads. It's the most important responsibility we'll ever undertake and we want to strive for excellence!

*Ephesians 6:1-4

(Proverbs is loaded with great parenting verses)

*Proverbs 4:1-4

*Proverbs 13:24

*Proverbs 13:22

*Proverbs 13:1

*Proverbs 6:20-23

*Proverbs 22:6 (I pray this one everyday!)

*Proverbs 23:12-28...I love this verse and meditate on it, especially for my son (and my daughter too). I do keep a journal for each of my children, writing all sorts of things in it, letting them draw in it as they're little, putting pictures in it, telling stories, etc. They can read it when they turn 18 and/or "flee the nest". I do incoorporate a lot of prayers in it and this one is the first set of verses, followed by a short written-out prayer for my son's notebook.

There are SO many other verses that our Bible contains about bringing up our children. Feel free to share your favorites!!! I'd love to hear them.